Cultural Differences

 

A cultural difference I have noticed is that people in Sierra Leone touch each other all the time. They hold hands, they hug and hold on to each other, they grab each other. And the thing is, it doesn’t mean the same thing that it does in the States. In the States, when you touch someone, it’s a sign of deep affection or extreme aggressiveness. But here, it’s all friendly. It’s not necessarily romantic, or passionate, or even a way to say you a familiar with that person. It’s just friendly. If people at home did what people here did, I would be very uncomfortable. I would have to figure out the hidden meaning behind the touching. But here, it’s simply a sign of fellowship with neighbors, family, and friends. It makes me feel very comfortable.

 

For example, one time after mass, I was introduced to a fellow parishioner. When he shook my hand, he kept holding it the entire time we had a conversation. If this had happened in the States, I would have felt very uncomfortable. But I didn’t feel that this time. I could tell the man was just welcoming me, and there was no other hidden meaning behind it. Another example is when I was at the hospital, one of the nurses grabbed my hand and started talking with me. It wasn’t a passive aggressive statement like I’ve experienced from some women in the past, and it wasn’t even saying that we were very close friends. It was simply a friendly part of the conversation. Some nurses will even lead me by hand around the hospital. It’s not patronizing, it’s simply what one does here. They hold hands when they are going somewhere; men, women, children, everyone. The one thing I have observed people doing occasionally that does make me feel uncomfortable is sometimes people will grope each other. As far as I can tell it’s just a teasing gesture. This kind of touching has yet to happen to me. If it does, I’m going to set up some boundaries with people about my “girls”. I don’t want them groped. And so far, I haven’t seen men do this to any women (thank goodness).

 

In general, the attitude towards breasts here seems very relaxed. So far, I’ve been flashed by three different women in public places (I don’t count women who are breast feeding). The first time was in the hospital. And when I say, “in the hospital”, I mean in the hallway outside at the hospital. An older lady was just walking around, pulling her shirt up and cooling off her breasts. I don’t blame her, it was hot. I’d even seen some nurses about to do the same thing, but they stop themselves right before they get to the “danger zone”. Another time was while I was in the car. We drove past a woman washing her top half on her front porch. The bathrooms here do get very hot. It must be more comfortable to bathe outside. Another time was at church. I was entering the Holy Spirit building and there was a lady sitting in one of the pews and she smiled at me, and I smiled back and then she lifted her shirt and showed me one of her breasts. I don’t know why she did. As far as I can tell, that’s not a typical Sierra Leonean greeting. If I find out it is, I’ll let you guys know. Though I don’t plan on doing it to anyone if it is. I’ve seen my fair share of breasts in my time. As a nurse, there is no part of the body I haven’t seen before, so I don’t mind seeing other people’s breasts. But I don’t need anyone to look at mine, thank you.

 

Unexpected hospitality also seems to be a common theme in Sierra Leone. People always want to do nice things for you, and they never give you a heads up or ask if it’s convenient for you. They just do it. One example of this was when Sister Vivian cooked me breakfast when I had already had a breakfast. You could say she made me…second breakfast (I’m sorry, my inner geek didn’t turn off just because I live in Africa now). Sister Julianna says that happens to her a lot too. She’s from Kenya and she says it’s really a Sierra Leonean thing to spontaneously give something. And it’s rude to refuse. So you just kind of accept whether you like it or not. I kind of like that. It reminds me of the American suburbs stereotype of randomly taking a casserole over to the new neighbors, whether they asked for a casserole or not. People also like to invite me to sit on their porch. We don’t even have to talk (which is good because my Krio is so broken). They’re just happy to have me and I’m just happy to be here. I don’t feel at home quite yet, but the people are really what make life here livable. They are always ready to help me with anything I might need or questions I have. It might take some time for me to fully adjust, but I feel happy that these are the people teaching me and who will be my neighbors for the next three years.